Battling it

Experimental movies, activism in art, loving friends and other ways to keep yourself going!

Long time no see, Reader!

How have you been? You have probably not been thinking about the absence of my Substack posts, busy as your life is. Last time I told you about the crippling lack of inspiration I had been feeling, and let me just say that I really appreciated all the people who wrote me about their experiences and advice. That’s exactly what I hoped for this newsletter to achieve<3

But despite the great advice and suggestions, the feeling has not improved much. In fact, I recently began the journey of lessening (and trying to get rid of) my OCD, and the medication has drained the motivation even more. Don’t get me wrong, it’s helping me feel way less anxious which is ultimately the goal, but the creative side of things can take a hit. These days I often feel like this wooden dog statue I have sitting on a shelf at home. His blank, yet fixated expression stares into the distance in a way that only true Zone-Out practitioners can recognise. It’s the kind of staring into nothing that makes hours pass like minutes, and one’s thoughts and being dissolve and rearrange into one, until something comes and knocks over the imagined tower of focus. I love this dog.

I got him from a thrift store, so I have no info on who made/painted him. I do wonder about that sometimes…

And through the swamp of demotivation, I PRESS ON! I wanted to share with you the tools I have been using to keep myself creatively moving forward. The first of which is seeking out inspiring media. I thought I would share some of it with you, since personally I love getting recommendations through newsletters. The following 2 are the most unlikely and experimental movies I have seen this year, and I really need you to keep an open mind, ok?

The first one most of you would probably not call a movie, but if I tell you it’s the most entertaining cinematic masterpiece I have seen this year, if not in years, I am telling you the truth and only truth.

1000 Players Simulate Civilization: Rich & Poor

- the Minecraft video.
HEAR. ME. OUT.
This video is a “social experiment“ by the youtuber Ish, who I had previously not heard of and truth be told, his other videos are not that great. That aside, in this experiment, he recruited one thousand players into a Minecraft server with two big islands. One of which was a lush paradise, the other one a desolate wasteland. The players could then form factions, cities, mafia, cults - what have you, but they could not travel between the islands until eventually the borders would drop.

The story that emerged from this experiment has everything - and it amazingly follows the classic story structure, mind you. It has the underdog main character, a villain, betrayals, battles, twists, turns, jokes and storytelling that had me glued to the screen for the entire 2,5 hours. I was literally yelling at the TV from how many feelings this story made me feel. So if you are curious at all, PLEASE watch this entire thing and talk to me about it. I promise you, you will enjoy it. I know it looks really stupid, but I think being open to stories from different and unlikely sources is a key to finding new inspiration as artists and storytellers.

Another very cool movie that I watched recently is:

Hundreds of Beavers

“Hundreds of Beavers“ is quite recent, from 2022, and directed by Mike Cheslik. The story is about a goofy, dumb apple farmer who needs to become a fur trapper to survive in the North American wilderness and ultimately to win over a girl. Just like with the Minecraft video, you need to come into this with a bit of an open mind. The movie is so riddled with slapstick that to enjoy it, one should at least have some tolerance and nostalgia for Tom & Jerry type of humour, but apart from that, it’s worth watching for the practical effects alone.

From the ridiculous costumes to the mixed media collage-like editing, the whole thing almost reads like a mix between a comic and an artsy TikTok video. However, the masterful shots, music and compositions make it everything but that. If you have an eye for beautiful pictures, you’re in for a treat with this movie. Oh, and it’s also silent and fully in black and white.

The video below is a short breakdown by the director of some of the practical effects. You can see the storyboards side by side with the green screen and compositing, which I think is just really cool! You can rent this movie on youtube by the way, so if you’re looking for a fun movie night watch, I can highly recommend Hundreds of Beavers!

Okay. Enough about experimental storytelling. I was telling you about how I battle my artistic void!

Something that has been really keeping my schedules afloat in these unemployed times is an NGO I joined already back in July. It’s an Estonian LGBTQ+ organisation called Q-Space, and I joined them because for a long while I had been feeling like I wanted to contribute to my community back home somehow, even though I live in Copenhagen. I offered to help out with my drawing skills, and have so far made a handful of illustrations for posters and social media posts, as well as a few graphic design tasks here and there.

Here’s the most recent poster I made for Q-Space, and if you are by chance a queer person in Estonia, you can still sign up for these support groups:)

Contributing with my work makes me feel really good, and the people in Q-Space have been incredibly welcoming and professional. It has given me these little missions to structure my days around, and I feel like I’m contributing to society/community in a way that is personal and meaningful. We are living in a time where catastrophic events are live-streamed right in front of our privileged noses, and while we are no doubt all overwhelmed by the tragedies around the globe, I encourage you, Reader, to find even small ways to help the communities around you (or around the World).

Let me remind you that art is not just pretty, but it’s political, and Silence is political too. So keep boycotting (because yes, boycotts work), and keep protesting, and keep making things for the causes you care about! You don’t need to be a hardcore activist to do these things - I know I’m not… but we can all feel a bit less helpless!

Panels from Yumi Sakugawa’s fantastic and moving comic on making art in the modern times! Find the whole thing on instagram

My third tool of “survival“ was actually not initiated by myself, but my friend and talented illustrator Ronna Raz, who proposed to make an Unemployment Accountability Club.

Every Monday, us and a couple of our other unemployed peers meet on a video call and tell each other 3 things we want to accomplish that week. It can be as small or big as we like, from picking berries to finishing comic scripts, but the bottom line is that we all set goals and then on the next Monday we tell each other if or how we met them. It’s really wonderful, and it also has an underlying benefit - keeping up with each other’s lives. Community<3
Community is a revolution in itself you guys! I will die on this hill!!!

And finally, my last (but not least) tool: Forgiveness.

I realised that I need to hone in on this one when I felt that my capacity for completing creative projects has perhaps become more limited. So I decided I will not beat myself up for not following through on all the projects I started when I did feel motivated. I can abandon things for now, and it’s fine. Nobody is waiting on me.
You can do this too, by the way. I’m not gonna gate-keep this from you (I’m cool like that).

…Hewh! This has been a long post. Thank you for reading.
I’ll see you in the next one!

PS! Seriously tell me if you watch the Minecraft video. I loove talking about it!